Wednesday, January 7, 2015

"My way is the high way"

"My way is the high way" - This is my essay blog's ( ) subtitle and I'd like to explain what's behind it, because it very much reflects who I am and what I went through.

First... it's a pun, haha. They're totally my thing. I never leave the house without them. ^^ (When do I ever leave the house? LOL.)

Secondly... It is a source of great frustration over many years that people usually have way less confidence in me and vision about what could be than I have myself, which can be an alienating experience. And for a pinkiepieish person, alienation from people equals massive discouragement and lack of purpose.
But on the few occasions where healthy-minded, relaxed people could go along with me knowing what I was doing and were not trying to engage in ego battles, when I could put my skills to good use and wield responsibility, do what I do best, everybody benefitted, sometimes almost magically.
While the troubled minds usually enrage/block even more in contrast and thus cannot benefit, with one-sided drama ensuing.

This is the high way. - Those who are unable to look up cannot perceive it. / Those who are unwilling to look up won't acknowledge it.

I remember one case where I involuntarily intimidated someone into subservience because he had a character weakness related to bowing to people of perceived authority (=confidence), and this enabled him to listen to the relaxed ways; how there doesn't need to be conflict if we work together. I guess I had found a langage that works for him. This is how diplomacy can work. Not just sending, but building connections.
But it's still frustrating when I have to become what feels like my opposite in order to show my true self. It almost seems like this wasn't an isolated case; that quite many people work on that principle without wanting to become aware of it. It reminds me of those stories about Taoist grandmasters who people would see on the street and go: "Look at that silly old granpda there."
People have been conditioned to pay attention to masks. If you're not flaunting your ego and playing an act, but just focusing on the general good, people will not see a mask and might assume there is nothing to see. "Surely if the guy had potential, he would show the world. Because I would, and that's the only way I consider valid." That's as naive as saying "If zero point energy was real, people already would have gotten rich and famous with it."

Being self-sufficient and self-contained is a blessing, because then you don't have to rely on others that much. If, on the other hand, you need to convince people that their preconceptions are not their friend in order for you to shine and contribute, that can suck.
And that's pretty much the story of my life.

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